Why be helpless when you can be awesome instead?

Being completely honest, the last week or so has been a real struggle. I had a five day break between gabapentin and starting pregablin and the pain has been relentless. None of my usual tricks have worked, even the tramadol! But that is enough of my negativity. As Cara Stein says, “Why be helpless when you can be awesome instead?”

I did find a small thing to help with my restless leg pain when I am trying to sleep. Warming Pain Relief Spray. I don’t think it has any medicinal qualities but it certainly distracts me somewhat from the pain and feels a little bit soothing. If you are lucky/unlucky enough to share to a bed with someone they might not appreciate the pong though. But I say ‘tough cookies’!

Tonight I am going along to a local Fibro Support Group. Being 25 I was a bit worried that there wouldn’t be anyone close to my age but apparently one member has just had a baby which is really reassuring. Particularly given that I have real concerns about going 9 months without the medications that I am so reliant on at the moment, but that is another story altogether. I am going along with an open mind and really looking forward to it. Doing things to help yourself is so important isn’t it? There is no point playing the victim, we don’t need sympathy (although sometimes it is quite nice) we need to make the most out of life!

Tomorrow I have ballet again and you all know how much I love it from my previous post Prima Ballerina. No matter how sore I am, I will be there with bells on (well ballet shoes at least). My boyfriend is coming down (we live an hour apart) on Thursday then I am seeing friends all weekend. Life is awesome.

What are you looking forward to this week?

Smile, breathe and go slowly.

Moaning Mini

So this week hasn’t been my most favourite of weeks. Starting gabapentin gave me a whole range of side effects but on Tuesday it knocked me for six. I was having a lovely dinner with a girlfriend and suddenly it hit me! After scaring myself silly from reading the endless side effects leaflet, I ended up going to A&E just to get myself checked out, which I did, but they told me I just had a ride it out.

Then a nasty cold pinned me to my bed for two days. It felt more like flu but don’t think it flu can last for only 2/3 days can it? I was a self pitying, snotty and miserable monster, definitely not the positive and life-loving girl from last week!

Now the weekend is here and I am looking forward to a quiet one spending time with my boyfriend and family. I’m feeling somewhat better, Christmas is coming and I get cuddles with my adorable little niece. What more could I ask for? As I always say, it is the small things in life that matter.

What are you up to this weekend? Any fun or exciting plans? Let me know.

Night Terrors and New Tablets

Three days ago I decided to go cold turkey with the Nortriptyline. I felt that the side effects outweighed the benefits. (Although I did start to doubt that as the pain came back with vengeance). Most nights they induced crazy dreams about man-eating sharks, bizarrely.

You may think dreaming isn’t a bad side effect. But they were usually about the last thing I wanted to dream about and things that made me upset and/or scared. Unlike normal dreams it was hard to decipher what was real and what wasn’t. Although I was happy to wake up and realise I didn’t have a blazing row with my ex boyfriend on a narrow boat whilst eating a chicken leg (I am a vegetarian) and a bull shark wasn’t swimming up the canal trying to eat me. Weird, I know.

A trip to my GP got me a new pack of pills (I wonder if I can sell a kidney to pay for all these prescriptions?), this time Gabapentin. It isn’t very reassuring when she tells me I can’t drive for 24 hours after taking the first dose because, “I have seen some awful car accidents after people have taken it”. Great, thanks for that Doc!

So after scaring myself by reading the leaflet, and surviving my first ballet lesson, I took the first dose. Well, how do I explain this? An hour or so later, I felt as though I had guzzled my way through six bottles of wine and a few double Ammarettos! I felt nauseous and was stumbling into things trying to get myself into bed. Naturally I felt a bit concerned. After several hours of fretting I text my boyfriend (I live on my own by the way) and said “If I don’t contact you in the morning, do something!” I persuaded myself that I wasn’t going to make it through the night. Dramatic or what!

Good news! I survived the night. So far so good… I woke up without a single ache or pain. Have you tried Gabapentin? Does it work for you? Or have you had any crazy side effects of Nortriptyline?